Despite Strong Push, No Magic in the Footsteps of Coach’s Athletes

Nov. 1, 2004
MARIETTA, OH – Under an overcast sky on a warm day in November, the breeze blew slightly toward the east and word of the Coach’s Challenge was rumbling through the streets of Marietta in anticipation of the day’s big race.

“What an historic day in our city’s long history to have the first Derek Stanley “Coach’s Challenge” in Marietta,” said mayor Mike Mullen.  “I’m sure this will be a featured event with anticipation and drama for years to come!”

The Coach’s Challenge is an annual race during the week that separates the conference meet and the regional meet for the cross country team.  The distance of the race is 1600 meters (just shy of a mile) with the men racing first.  After the men’s race, the women take to the track to see if they can beat a converted time of what Coach Stanley runs in the men’s race.  If any of the men physically beat Coach Stanley or the women beat the converted time, they earn the “I Beat Coach Stanley” t-shirt. 

History does not bode well for the athletes running against Coach Stanley.  In four challenges Coach Stanley has only be defeated by 5 men and 7 women.  “Those races were a fluke,” said Coach Stanley, “I was not trained enough and I let those kids win, I’m not taking it easy on this crop.”

It turns out Coach Stanley is a man of his word.  With only four of the eight men on the starting line, this reporter can tell you that it looked bleak for the athletes.  Once the gun fired, Stanley took to the front to control the pace and about that time Clark Spears dropped out.  On the back stretch of lap 1 freshman Harrison Potter decided to pass on the inside of lane 1 to take the lead.  Although this was a violation of the rules governing track and field, Coach Stanley decided not to protest as he felt confident in his ability to win the race.  Nearing the end of the first lap sophomore Alex Lugosch took the lead in what was thought to be a “rabbit” move, a strategy to pull runners into a faster pace.  Once again the field of runners was not fazed by the antics for they knew Lugosch could not hold the pace.  The second lap offered little to be noticed except for Lugosch dropping out of the race, wheezing.  The pace started to press on the back side of the third lap as Potter and Coach ran head-to-head and side-by-side with Andrew Wichie somewhere behind.  The race continued to be neck and neck through the 1400 meter mark, and then it ended.  Coach managed to gap the wavering Potter by 5 second over 100 meters, making him look like he was standing still.  And with 100m to go in the race, Coach added “insult to injury” gapping Potter another 5 seconds.  Coach Stanley came across the finish line in a winning time of 4:42.7, with Potter not so close behind in 2nd (4:51.3), and Wichie was 3rd in 4:58.9.

Only one woman showed up to challenge Coach Stanley.  Lydia Christopher needed to run a 5:48.0 to win the challenge against coach.  The men’s team beside her, she put together a valiant effort over the four laps but came up short.  Christopher finished the race in a time of 6:09.0, her fastest mile of the year so far.  Unfortunately, it was not enough to get her the t-shirt prize and bragging rights over Coach Stanley.

“I think its funny how these kids come in each year thinking they are going to beat me, I just keep looking better and winning Coach’s Challenges with age,” spoke Coach Stanley after the race.

After the race this reporter caught up with Harrison Potter for comment.  “If he wasn’t complaining about me running on the inside of the track during the race, I could have focused more on my horrible form to beat him, but all I heard was blah, blah, blah, cry, cry, cry,” concluded Potter.  A dejected Andrew Wichie said, “I think my Avril Levine costume from this weekend rubbed off on me too much for this race.”    

Other runners could not be reached for comment but it was reported that Travis Shipe was walking campus aimlessly looking for Lugosch.  John Hull was seen cowering under a desk, scared to lose the race to coach.  Lyle Sulfridge reported seeing Brea Gardner stabbing a Voodoo doll that looked like Coach Stanley during the race time at 4:30pm.  It was reported that Emily Klowdowski was trying to get there in time but fell on the run to the track because she tripped on her pants wearing them too low off her waist. 

*events depicted in this article are not necessarily the truth.