Feb. 17, 2006

Valentine’s Day at MC . . . single

By AMY BITELY
arb001@marietta.edu

So, by now, most of us have survived Valentine’s Day.
February 14 is widely regarded as the most hateful day in the western calendar (with April 15 a close second). Those people lucky enough to be spending “the most romantic day of the year” with their loved ones hate Valentine’s Day because it means spending hard-earned dollars on flowers, candy, romantic dinners, scandalous presents, and cheesy cards.

Worst of all, there is no guarantee that this huge expenditure of money will make any difference in the quality or the duration of the relationship. On the other hand, for those people who (like me) were flying solo through the Cupid-filled skies on this Valentine’s Day, we hate the holiday because we don’t have the chance to waste our money on fruitless attempts to prove our love.

You heard me right. I wanted to buy someone a rose that would be dropping dry petals on the linoleum in three days. I wanted to agonize over whether my dear one’s facial expression meant that my card was unexpectedly wonderful or terrifying beyond all reason. Yes, I wanted to experience the true humiliation of discovering for the very first time that my love was allergic to chocolate. Even the kind that’s twenty dollars a pound.

Being in love is one of the most surreal and beautiful things that a human being can experience. It makes us feel as though we are a part of something larger than ourselves--as though we can become better people simply because there’s finally someone who’s worth being better for. For this reason, perhaps, we celebrate Valentine’s Day with a commercial extravaganza.

Humans can do other kinds of loving, though. We love our families; we love our friends; we love our goldfish, and we love our religious figures of choice--some of us can even love not having religious figures. We can even love ourselves. That’s the amazing thing about being single on Valentine’s Day; it doesn’t mean we don’t have just as much love to give.

Did you feel bad because you missed out on giving a sweetheart a rose? Give your favorite professor a rose instead, and tell him or her just how much your life has been changed by the association. Did you long for the chance to make a special dinner for the man or woman of your dreams? Make a special dinner for your friends, and enjoy that no one cares more about staying tidy than about enjoying your cooking. Did you feel like you were all alone because no one gave you a call that ended with the words, “I love you?” Give your family a call, and be sure to sign off with the three little words that mean so much.

In honor of all of those who also didn’t get to enjoy a few emblematic Valentine’s Day moments, a sonnet for the single:

Today, I didn’t dress myself in red.
I left my high-heeled shoes upon the shelf
And pulled a pair of sneakers on instead.
When I had gotten comfy with myself,
I jogged down to the chocolate place and bought
A box of chocolates, every one my own!
I know, it seems an unromantic thought,
But since, today, I’m more or less alone,
I’ve got to be the one who shows me love.
I’ll buy myself carnations in a vase
And decorate a card with hearts and doves
And write, “TO ME!” inside it, upper case.
The couples have the fourteenth, so they say,
But I can love myself on every day.