Oct. 3, 2006

Captain’s Log:
Private “I”
By CAPT. JON MOFFETT
jrm001@marietta.edu
Disclaimer: The following are solely the views of Jon Moffett and are not necessarily shared by the staff of the Marcolian. These opinions are not meant to be offensive or insulting in any way, but instead are intended to be entertaining and spark discussion among the student body.

Last Wednesday, one of the most bizarre things happened to me. After a long day's worth of classes, I decided that it was time to head back to the room and get some shut-eye before dinner. No less than 20 minutes after I had lain down, and almost fallen asleep, I heard a knock at my door. Grumbling silently, I decided not to answer; figuring whomever it was would get the impression that I was not in my room and simply go away. Wrong.

No sooner than I thought that did I hear someone start to unlock my door. I do not have a roommate at this time, so you can imagine my surprise. I sat straight up in my bed just in time to watch two strange men enter my room.

“Don't worry,” they assured me, “we're just here to check the wireless signal.”

Oh I didn't worry. I became irate. Was that announcement supposed to excuse the fact that these two random dudes I didn't know just broke into my room? How the hell does checking a wireless signal give you the right to come into my room when you please? I guess the whole not answering the door thing caused them to assume it was all right to come in. First of all, how many people have a key to my room? And second, how do I know that this was the first time somebody had been in there?

I don't care what you're doing, whether it be checking a wireless signal or looking for Waldo, if I don't give you permission to come into my room, then stay the heck out. I can understand that in an emergency, people would need to enter my room. No problem. But to think that the world depends on whether or not Marietta's wireless signal is active is as logical as an Old Navy commercial.
That makes me wonder, just how much privacy do we actually have at this school? If a wireless signal is that important, then where are the dozens of e-mails I usually get about them? How safe should I feel knowing that at any point when I go to sleep at night two strange men can just come on in whenever they want? If my RA needs something, fine. If Bruce Peterson or Linda See need something? Ok. If two strange men feel the need to come into my room, wake me and proclaim that they are there to make all my problems go away with their magic? No. Let me sleep.