March 22, 2007

Captain's Log: A Farewell
Jon Moffett
jrm001@marietta.edu

Before I begin my usual ranting, I must make an announcement to all of my avid readers.  After a lot of thought and debate, I have decided that it is in my best interest to cancel the Captain’s Log column that I’ve been responsible for the past two years.  I feel that the column has run its course and that it’s simply time to move on.

Like all good leaders of sea-going vessels, the entire moniker of Captain will go down with the ship.  This marks the end of the Captain with this final column.  For all those who are not familiar with the origins of the nickname, it was simply a random accident my freshman year, and I believe I’ve outgrown the name.

For all those who truly enjoy the words that I write, fear not.  I fully intend to debut a new column in the next issue, but it will be completely void of the Captain name and feel.  I cannot reveal any secrets at this time, so stay tuned for further updates.

So with that out of the way, it only seems natural that I go out the same way I came in.  For those really avid readers, you’ll remember that my first ever column was about my feelings on foreigners and the importance of them learning English.  My views on this topic have not changed at all, and in fact, they’ve become even more intense.

For those of you who don’t know, I work at Rite Aid to earn a little spending money down here.  Over the course of my times there, I have noticed a very disturbing trend.  The packaging on certain products now contain another language other than English on these items:  French.

French?  Are you kidding me?  As if the extreme influx of Spanish in this country wasn’t enough, now we have to put the most effeminate language in the history of the earth on our products?  I don’t care if French people want to better their lives by coming over here, but I do have a problem with them bringing their girly language.  I hear the argument that French is a romantic language.  No.  I took French for three years in high school, because I had to, and I can personally attest that French is anything but romantic.

What happened to the good old days when immigrants would come over here, and work their entire lives to learn our language and become successful?  That’s the American dream people!  These shortcuts taken by most, though not all, foreigners is disgusting.

Last semester I roomed with a Chinese transfer student.  His English was terrible, but he worked so hard to learn it that it made me proud.  It’s those kind of people that America needs.  We have enough freeloaders.