Apr. 5, 2007

Phil in the blank
Philip Lemaster
pcl001@marietta.edu

Recently, I’ve noticed the term “frenemy” used quite frequently in the celebrity gossip arena. For those unfamiliar with the newly coined word, a frenemy is a combination of a friend and an enemy, a friend on the surface who eagerly waits to stab you in the back. Like a rabid dog, frenemies may look nice from a distance, but they will attack within a second though and usually have white foam dripping from their lips. Think Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.

After the recent Locker Room stabbings, I expected to expose a dark underbelly of violence, gossip, and anger amongst Marietta’s seemingly genial atmosphere, much like the social interactions of Lindsay Lohan and the aforementioned socialites. Luckily, however, I found not a single fight, rumor, or punctured lung in my investigative excursion. Instead, I found a happy, supportive atmosphere that would not seem out of place on the utopian Sesame Street.

As I first entered the Brewery to investigate, I couldn’t help but notice some of Marietta’s Class of ’07 A-Listers. Corinne Mees, Rachel Long, Jeremy Kopp, and Ted Cunningham chummily sipped their drinks and reminisced on the past four years. Rachel even talked about her starring role in the movie “Long Cuts”. Welcome to the jungle, indeed.

Next, I found Matt Kundmueller and Mattie Unger toasting to their friendship and times at Marietta. Nearby, Lauren Stone and Anna Bjerstedt chatted about their relatively short time in the area, laughing and smiling about all of their fun times together. Making my way to the front, I found Tucky Dangamuwa, who quickly embraced me harder than Kate Moss did with cocaine. Meanwhile Erin Siebel and BFF Ali Rhea sang along to “Fergalicious” to honor their friendship and hone their spelling skills. How D to the E to the L-I-C-I-O-U-S!